EL phobia, a childhood long nightmare

I got 3rd in class!! After Primary 5 and 6, i haven't top e class for 2 years, either am i near the top. Lolx... Things seem fine now, but somehow, i still got phobia over EL. Wanna know e reason. I will make it damn clear now.

During primary 2 and 3, Ms Toh (a sucker -- i dun use this word on every1 b4), "taught" me EL for 2 years. She demanded total silent, everday. Then, she expected everyone to score full marks for all e spellings, and would send ppl out of e class every time u forgot to bring smth.

For my case, till now, i never know why i am out of the class, everyday. Although i wasn't the only one, but i am one of them. I hardly have 10 lesssons with her. The only reason known to me is that i borrowed a packet of tissue paper because my nose was bleeding. Then she sent me out.

As for spelling, hello, i didn't even know which chapter they are, why would i know there is spelling. Ppl fear me and no one talks to me, i have few friends, and obviously, no one would tell me that there's spelling. Wow, i got caning everytime. She OBVIOUSLY is bias towards so ppl. WTH!

Only in e mid yr of Pri 3, i went into e class for a few lesson and thot that things are all over. In e end, is my chinese trainee tchr who told her to let us in. The moment she was gone, we are out again.

Whole of Primary 2 and 3, night mares to me. I never know a thing, i never understand a word. And from there, i started failing EL. Sometimes i might cry when i fail EL, but not because i flunk it again, simply because i recalled this horrible nightmare of mine.

A growing child at e prime of her childhood, what a hell she lives in? She never complain, obviously not because she dun mind, but simply because she didn't know what a complain is. Hell, is e onli word to describe her feelings. I didn't know if i added smth else to e story, but that's what i remember, 7 years ago.

Now u understand why i often speak up for tchrs? Simply because i met far worst tchrs then them. Now u know why i often flunk EL? Simply because i didn't have a foundation at all! If u were me, can u withstand it? i think u have already give up studying. If u were me, do u know how to response to all this injust at an age of 8? If you were me, can u regain confidence in tchrs, ppl, friends ard u?

Yes, i agree what has passed is all over, but ya, it matters. The world is unfair, this is known to everyone, but why is there such extreme cases? Mine might not be the worst, but it is in the worse, near the worst. And i sincerely hoped that it's e worst. Why someone who got 3rd in class can end up crying with grieve now? Ans: Hell.

Today i am in e staffroom for a long period. And obviously, hear a lot of gossips. But sorry, the other day ok? Too overwhelmed by ths nonsense now. What pass is pass. SS/hist will pass veri soon,streaming might remain a while more, but this, i doubt i can never get over it.

My blog veri ugly now, dun mind, i lost my html.. Will get smth nice soon. Sorry, pls bear with it.